


Opening Up to You

by auroraphilealis (athousandrosepetals)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 2009, Anal, Blowjobs, Confessions, First Time, Frottage, Getting Together, Halloween, M/M, Smut, confident!dan, phanfichallenge, powerbottom!dan, pwc - antitrope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 10:24:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandrosepetals/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: It’s October 31, 2009, and Dan and Phil aren’t together yet. Dan would very much so like to remedy this, if Phil will let him. And, well, maybe Dan is also ready to experience a sexual awakening.





	Opening Up to You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [@phanfichallenge’s](http://phanfichallenge.tumblr.com) Anti-Trope Challenge, which you can find ([here](https://phanfichallenge.tumblr.com/post/171729131387/challenge-1-the-anti-trope-challenge)). The anti-trope challenge challenges us to write a fic using a known trope and put a spin on it - so I chose 2009 and their first time and shifted it over to Halloween, as well as making Dan as confident as can be <3
> 
> If you were wondering, as I have yet to introduce it to my readers, the phanfichallenge is a blog I created to challenge phanfiction authors via prompts with a twist! By taking part in these challenges, you get to win things like badges (images our admins have created!), and as time goes on, unlock achievements and the Hall of Fame! I hope to see you guys there <3
> 
> Endless thanks to [@imnotinclinedtomaturity](http://imnotinclinedtomaturity.tumblr.com) who made this not only 3K words longer than it was when I first wrote it, but for making it about ten times better than it was in it’s original form. You’re honestly the best <3
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

They smell like crappy beer, and the grease from the fish and chips they'd had earlier. Dan can feel that his face paint has smudged, more likely than not making him look like a complete and utter ponce under the flickering, fluorescent lights of his bedroom. Phil looks amazing beside him, though, as always. His own face paint has smudged, but in a cute way, the whiskers of his cat face beginning to blur until half of Phil's cheeks are a hazy sort of grey.

The color makes him look softer than he usually does. Dan isn't sure he's ever seen Phil out of control before, but in the low light of Dan's bedroom, hazy with the slightest bit of alcohol, and clothing rumpled from the push and pull of other bodies against them on the train home, Phil looks soft. The tension that usually holds his shoulders tight and rigid when he's around the world, the awkward, anxiety ridden mess that Dan knows him to truly be, seems completely dissipated here.

Maybe that's why Dan feels confident enough to step forward and let his hands fall to Phil's hips, the brown of the weird sleeve bit of his bear costume pressing ever so softly against the soft bit of Phil's sides that peak out from under the purple check of his shirt. Dan finds his eyes drawn to the squishy bit of skin there, the little bit of pudge that reminds Dan that Phil is real and alive and _human_ , that no matter how perfect Dan thinks his best friend is, he's just the same as Dan, in the end.

The thought is reassuring. It, like the slow buzz of alcohol running through Dan's veins, allow him to drag his gaze up from the hem of Phil's shirt to look into his eyes.

Dan's parents aren't home. They're away for the weekend, at some kind of retreat their friends planned, allowing Dan a night of frolicking for Halloween. Dan's sure they know he got himself drunk, sure they know he isn't behaving like they asked him to, and he wonders, for just a moment, if they know what he's doing upstairs right now.

"Dan?" Phil asks, drawing him back and away from his thoughts. The blue of his eyes is hypnotizing. Dan can feel himself getting lost inside of them all over again, but Phil is _talking_. And Dan doesn't know how to not listen when Phil is talking.

"Dan, how drunk are you right now?"

"Buzzed, maybe," Dan answers earnestly. He can feel Phil's breath as it fans across his face, that's how close they are.

They've never done this before. _Dan_ 's never done this before. For how many days he and Phil had spent alone, together, at Phil’s house that week in October, Dan doesn't know how they haven't.

"Are you -"

"Phil," Dan says, cutting his best friend off. He can see the turmoil resting in his eyes, knows what Phil is thinking, but Dan isn't backing down. Not this time. Not when Phil looks so young, for once; not when he looks unguarded, and open, and Dan just wants to _take_.

He lets his fingers curl more firmly around Phil's hips, lets his fingers trail up so they're brushing actual, real, skin, and he stares at Phil with the most unguarded expression that he can manage.

He wants this. He’s wanted this for months. He wants _Phil_ , and he’s been after him since the first time they actually skyped and Dan realized this was real. He’d broken up with his girlfriend that weekend, a relationship he’d been holding on to for far too long and which had burnt out ages ago. Phil had just been the one to make him see it, finally truly see it.

Now they’re home alone, and they’re tipsy, maybe, or at least Dan is, and he _wants_ more than he’s ever wanted anything else in his life.

“Are you?” Dan blurts out, a little belated. He’s not sure if he’s tipsy from the desire rushing through his veins, and the way Phil’s eyes make him feel, or if it’s the alcohol blurring his thoughts, but he’ll admit that he’s a little bit intoxicated - off of Phil, and the shitty beer, and the situation they find themselves in right then.

Phil’s lips part slightly. Dan can see the teeniest hint of teeth, a soft pink tongue darting out to lick dry lips. Phil’s eyes are wide, pupils dilated, and he hasn’t drawn away yet. Dan doesn’t know if Phil wants this, doesn’t know if Phil _sees_ him the same way Dan sees Phil, but he does know that he has to try. He can’t hold back any longer.

Dan has always been the kind of guy to reach out and take what he wants. He hides behind flirty words and self deprecating humor, but he’s never been one to shy away from a confrontation, not really. He’s never been one to back down once he’s made a decision, and tonight, Dan has made a decision.

“No,” Phil finally replies. Dan watches as his eyes dart from Dan’s, down to Dan’s lips, and back up. “Tipsy, at most. The greasy food helped,” Phil continues, clearly attempting to lighten the mood, to distract from the sudden heavy atmosphere sitting between them. He even lets out a soft chuckle, the husky sound of which goes straight to Dan’s dick, and Dan groans. He lets his eyes fall shut, lets his fingers tighten further, lets Phil know just how much Dan wants him, how much he _needs_ him.

“Then you agree,” Dan says, opening his eyes, “That we’re both in our right minds enough to consent?”

Dan’s eyes bore into Phil’s, daring. Phil swallows, the movement so thick and loud in the quiet of Dan’s dim bedroom. Dan sees Phil’s adam’s apple bob, and more than anything in the world, he wants to get his mouth on it. He wants to litter Phil with bruising kisses to rival any Phil has ever gotten before. He wants to make love to every last inch of Phil’s skin, to shower the man in attention, and prove to him that Dan is worth it.

Worth whatever comes their way.

“Dan,” Phil breathes. He looks so uncertain, so hesitant, that it twists at something in Dan’s gut. That’s not the kind of look that Dan wants to see on anyone’s face, let alone someone he’s trying to woo. Let alone someone he wants to take to bed, to ask to be his boyfriend. He finds his own expression falling, and he pulls away despite every nerve in his body screaming at him to keep holding on to Phil’s hips, to keep their faces so close together that they can feel each other breathe.

Dan wants to kiss Phil more than he’s ever wanted anything else in the world, but he pulls away, because he’d never do anything to risk the friendship he’s cultivated here. Phil means more to Dan than sex.

Dan’s movement away causes Phil to let out the smallest, saddest whimper Dan has ever heard, and his eyes snap back up to look at him, to take in the way he bites his lip and stares like his heart is falling out of his chest. Dan doesn’t understand, but no matter how badly he wants to move back forward and bask in Phil’s touch, he knows that they need to talk first.

“What do you want from me, Phil?” Dan asks, before he can question what he’s saying, before he can decide that this is not the time, nor the place. This _is_ the time. This _is_ the place. Dan doesn’t want to dance around this anymore. He just wants Phil.

Phil closes his eyes. He looks so sad and confused that Dan wants to reach inside of his own chest and rip out his heart for making Phil feel this way. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he does know that he wants to fix this.

Phil doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even open his eyes. He looks so goddamn pained. The place between his brows is creased in a way that makes it look like Phil is crumpling in on himself, and Dan can practically see him trembling. He doesn’t know if Phil is holding himself back, or getting ready to reject Dan, but Dan can’t stop the next words that come out of his mouth.

“Because I want everything from you,” he says. “Because I want _all_ of you.”

Phil’s eyes snap open and he stares up at Dan, blue eyes so, so fucking wide. Dan can’t remember the last time he saw Phil blink as much as he has in the last five minutes, but this expression, this expression is new. Phil is never lost for words, never surprised. He takes everything in stride and leaves Dan feeling like an awkward, unstable mess who doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing in the world.

There was a time when Dan thought he always looked effortlessly self assured, but he is nothing compared to Phil, who flirts back with such vigour that Dan wonders how he got so comfortable with it, and who laughs at Dan’s more sexual jokes as if they don’t send heat straight to his belly, and says the most outlandish and meaningful of things without breaking a sweat.

The first time Phil called Dan his best friend, it had come so far out of left field that Dan had blurted out, “Do you mean that?” and Phil had looked at him like he was the most precious thing on Earth.

Now, now Phil looks at Dan like he broke the goddamn world, or something. Dan doesn’t know what to do with that. All he can do is stare back helplessly, and shrug with a soft half-smirk on his lips to show Phil that he meant it; he meant every goddamn word, a little tipsy or not, and he’s never going to take them back.

“How do you know?” Phil asks. The words sound strangled, like he’s half forced them out, and half blurted them out, completely out of his control. His gaze is almost manic, terrified, _vulnerable_.

Dan finds himself stepping back into Phil’s personal bubble, letting his hands fall back to his waist, rucking up the bottom of his shirt and feeling a _zing_ of heat rush through him at the touch of Phil’s warm skin under the palm of his hands. He can feel himself hungering for Phil. He’s dizzy with it. He licks his lips, eyes smoldering.

Phil stares back.

“I just do,” Dan says, because for all the words and the thoughts swirling around in his head, he doesn’t know how to articulate it.

Phil’s expression falls further, and he lets out a breathy sigh. He reaches up with long, pale hands and cards his fingers through his own hair, pushing his fringe up and back into a quiff, exposing the long length of his pale forehead.

He looks so gorgeous like this. He looks so gorgeous in every way. Dan wants nothing more than to lean in and press soft kisses to his forehead, and take care of him forever.

The world looks at Dan like he’s a twink, he knows they do. The world looks at Phil and thinks of him as an adult. They look at Dan and Phil together and they assume that Phil is the one who takes care of Dan, and he does, he _does_ , but Dan wants to take care of Phil too. Dan is bigger than Phil. His shoulders are broader, his hands are larger, and he’s the big spoon when they do cuddle. Phil fits perfectly against his chest despite the fact that he’s taller than Dan, and Dan thinks that he could - that he could take care of Phil in ways that Phil has never been taken care of before.

Dan’s never had sex with another man. But he wants to, more than anything. He wants to show Phil that he is so much more than the emo kid who has the existentialist crises in the middle of the night, who cries and talks about depression and admits that he’s not all right. He wants to be the guy who can show Phil that he can be in control, too, that he can take care of Phil, too, that he can hold up Phil the same way that Phil has supported him and that he _isn’t_ just some gay twink who wants to take Phil’s dick up the ass (though he does, _god_ does he).

If only Phil would give him the chance.

“Dan,” Phil says, breaking him out of thoughts once again. Phil’s staring, only this time his eyes are somehow more intense. The displeasure, the pain and worry, is so much deeper, but he’s staring at Dan with a certain kind of single-mindedness that Dan recognizes. It’s the feeling that got him to reach out to Phil in the first place, to sync their lives up, and then, right now, to confess and trust that it was going to turn out alright.

“I don’t want to ruin what we have,” Phil finally confesses, and finally, finally, Dan sees his own fears reflected back at him. This isn’t a rejection. It’s so much _more_ than that.

Phil doesn’t give him a chance to respond.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” Phil admits. The dogged single minded look is still secure and in place, but anxiety bleeds through Phil’s voice. He sounds nervous. Dan has never seen him like this before.

Confident Phil had never laid bare his insecurities to Dan before. Dan is desperate for him to continue.

“I don’t know what it all means, but I do know that I can’t lose you, Dan.”

Dan feels his chest tighten, the overwhelming urge to reach forward and kiss Phil surging so quickly through him that for a moment, he feels himself rocking forward before he catches himself and holds still. He won’t. Not yet. Not until he knows that it’s okay. Not until he’s sure that Phil won’t hate him in the morning.

For all the confidence Dan had been feeling before, it’s fading fast. But at the same time, it’s building in his chest, because Phil hasn’t said _no_.

“You won’t,” Dan finally says. He swallows, watches the ghost of doubt flash across Phil’s face, and speaks before Phil can tell him, “you don’t know that.”

“You won’t lose me, you know why?” Dan asks, pulling Phil flush against him and noticing with a sense of pride that Phil doesn’t resist the pull of Dan’s body against his. “Because whatever this is? I know it’s strong enough to take on anything. Phil…”

His face is so close now. So goddamn close that Dan would do anything to close the last little gap between them. He doesn’t. Instead, he lets his hands speak for him, running his fingers in small circles against Phil’s skin, and feeling Phil shudder in response to the touch. Dan lets his hands wander up, and then back down, exploring and comforting all in one. He just wants to _touch_.

Phil’s breathing is heavy. He looks so unsure, but Dan can see now - he can see the lust hiding in the way that his pupils have blown wide, and it gives him the confidence to admit to something he knows he shouldn’t be feeling so soon, but that every fibre of his being knows is true.

“I love you.”

It’s a bombshell. Dan knows that it’s a bombshell, but he doesn’t hold it back. He lets the terror and the adrenaline rush through him as the words burst free, watches Phil’s eyes go wide, and finds himself laughing at the look of pure, stunned disbelief on Phil’s face.

He means every goddamn word.

“I’m in love with you, every part of you. It’s more than… than hero worship, or your celebrity status, or whatever. I’m in love with _you_ , Phil Lester, the man who hides behind AmazingPhil and the guys who laughs at my corny jokes,” Dan says, letting his hands drift back to Phil’s hips, squeezing lightly because he’s nervous and he doesn’t want to let go. “I’m in love with every last bit of your quirky mind, the way you think, and how you express yourself. I’m in love with your self confidence, and the way you hold yourself tall in the face of adversity, and I know that I would do _anything_ to make sure that I never lose you. Phil,” Dan trails off, his breathing heavy and strained, his eyes threatening to fall shut as he stares at Phil, the way Phil stares back, stunned, and Dan tries not to lean in and just _kiss_ him already.

He lets himself squeeze, lets his hands drift back up, encasing Phil’s ribcage, _petting_ him, because it’s all that he has left now. He’s frozen, unsure, but oh so goddamn _ready_.

“Phil...I want everything with you. I don’t think that… more will ruin us. But I won’t push it if you say no. I swear,” he breathes.

His eyes fall shut, but he doesn’t let Phil go. His hands are like vices on Phil’s hips again because he can’t help it. Phil’s body is so fucking warm against his, everywhere they touch it feels like sparks are flying, and Dan wants so fucking much more, but he won’t, he _won’t_ -

And then Phil kisses him.

His mouth is like nothing Dan has ever experienced before. There’s the hint of stubble rubbing against Dan’s face, and his lips are dryer than Dan’s ex-girlfriends ever were, and he doesn’t taste like anything but skin, but it’s _good_. It’s so fucking good because it’s Phil, and there is nothing better in the world to Dan than Phil.

Dan’s hands shift, push up under Phil’s shirt, grasp at warm skin and curl around Phil until Dan’s hugging him around the waist. He can feel how small Phil is like this, how slight and scrawny he is, but he loves it. Phil is taller than him though, so Dan has to arch his head up a little to get the perfect angle for the kiss, but he doesn’t care.

Phil’s hands come up to grasp at his cheeks, palms _hot_ , and the feeling so intense that Dan doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s even better than the touch of his ex-girlfriend’s hands when she held his face in place, because Phil’s hands are soft, too, but they’re bigger and warmer and somehow just so much _more_. He never wants Phil to let go as he sucks at Phil’s bottom lip, presses his tongue up against him, and tilts his head so he can get inside. He’s kissed plenty of people before, but never _Phil_ , and this is. This is intense. It is everything that Dan has been missing for so long.

Their noses brush together. Their breathing grows rushed and desperate. Dan can feel Phil huffing against him. He doesn’t know how far he’s allowed to take this, but he doesn’t want to stop now if he doesn’t have too. Dan finds himself sucking at Phil’s tongue, letting pleasure wash over him like a wave, and sinks into the sensation of kissing Phil Lester.

 _The_ Phil Lester. This is every dream that Dan has ever had.

When they finally pull apart, Dan is certain that his cheeks are bright red, that he looks a mess. He’s certain that his hair is mussed up from where Phil has slid his fingers in, tangling them with his locks, and yanking Dan closer, despite the fact that they were already so close that Dan couldn’t _breathe_.

“Wow,” Dan says, because he doesn’t know what else _to_ say, and Phil just kissed him. Phil _kissed_ him. Did that mean…?

“Does this mean…?”

“Yes,” Phil manages to croak out, eyes blown wide with lust as he drags Dan back in for another kiss. “Everything,” Phil whispers into his mouth, as if the sentiment hadn’t been clear enough. “I want everything, too.”

They kiss. Dan takes the lead, sucking at Phil’s lips and encouraging him to let Dan in. Phil’s still hesitant, like he doesn’t know what to do with Dan, what he’s allowed to do, but Dan doesn’t mind. He’s never been afraid to show someone exactly what he wants. Phil’s hands have moved from Dan’s hair to his neck, though, rucking up his hair in the back, and carding his fingers up his skull. Meanwhile, Dan’s hands fumble to Phil’s back, pushing up at his shirt, wanting it gone already but unwilling to pull back from Phil long enough to undo his buttons.

He’s far too distracted by Phil’s lips on his, anyway, to care much about anything else. He’s wanted this for so long, and now that he finally has it, he’s dizzy with it. His breathing is already heavy, he’s long gone to the pleasure of it all, and he can feel his cock hardening in his pants. The stupid bear costume thing he has on is far too hot. Dan feels like he’s burning up from the inside out, but he doesn’t bother to remedy this either.

Instead, he starts pushing Phil backwards towards his bed, pressing long-overdo kisses to his mouth over and over again until Phil’s knees hit the bed and he falls backwards, sprawling out just the way that Dan wants him.

He stares up at Dan with wide eyes full of desperation, and Dan doesn’t waste another second pulling the top half of of his costume over his head. He needs it off _right now_.

He’s not wearing a shirt underneath, but Dan is good at sex. He’s always been good at sex. He’d done well enough with his ex-girlfriend, and he knows from the comments he gets on his photobooth that guys and girls alike are attracted to his body. He knows, objectively, that he’s hot, so he doesn’t bother to hide his body from Phil as he leans back over him and kisses him, hot and hard, on the mouth.

Phil’s hands reach up to touch, and he holds Dan like he’s something precious. He caresses over naked skin, making Dan shiver from the touch, and he lets Dan plunder his mouth the way Dan wants to. One of Dan’s hands works to hold him up, while the other starts to fumble at the buttons of Phil’s shirt, until, finally, Phil starts to laugh at his jumbled attempts.

“Here,” Phil says, pulling away from Dan. His eyes sparkle with humor and affection, a far cry from the worry and insecurity that had shined in their depths earlier. His lips are curved in that beautiful smile Dan loves so much, only this time his lips are red from the suction of Dan’s, and his eyes are half-lidded in a way that bellies the feel of Phil’s cock growing under Dan’s body. Dan pulls back, watches Phil prop himself up on his elbows, and reach for his own midsection, deft, long fingers pulling at the buttons on his shirt.

Every movement sends a blaze of desire through Dan. He can’t stop staring. Phil’s fingers are so goddamn _long_ , a sharp contrast to Dan’s stubby, thick fingers. Dan wants to hold them, to feel what it’s like to twine their hands together, to watch his own engulf Phil’s. God, just the idea of it has Dan reaching out to cover one of Phil’s hands with his, Phil’s shirt half undone and beginning to droop at his shoulders.

Phil stops and looks up at Dan, eyes soft and searching. Dan doesn’t say a word, just encases Phil’s hands with his and leans back in for a kiss.

This one is softer, sweeter. There’s a hint of teeth as Dan nips and sucks, the slide of tongue, but it’s slow now. It’s not so rushed and filled with pent-up desire. It’s a slow wave of heat through Dan’s body, making him thrum with want and need, but most of all it’s just… affection. Dan’s chest feels full with love for this man pressed up underneath him, the feel of bare flesh against bare flesh beginning to make Dan shiver.

His lips disconnect from Phil’s as he searches for air, but Phil doesn’t let up. He leans up to press kisses to Dan’s jaw, to drag the heat of his mouth across Dan’s face and down his sensitive neck, laving kisses against every inch of skin. Dan moans for the first time that night, a loud, gasp-like sound of shock that makes Phil giggle as he keeps going, moving his tongue down, down, down, until his mouth is on Dan’s clavicles and he’s properly sucking now, biting at the jut of bone that Dan knows is sexy as hell.

He can’t take it. He ruts his hips down, eyes falling shut as his hips connect with Phil’s and their cocks rub together through denim. Phil lets out a soft sounding huff against the hollow of Dan’s throat, but doesn’t let up the movements of his mouth. It feels like he’s on a mission, trying to explore all of Dan, his hands moving to Dan’s ribcage and stroking the skin there. It’s everything that Dan could ever ask for, but he wants more. So much more.

He wants his mouth on Phil, right here and right now, like he’s been dreaming about for months.

Shaking, Dan draws his body back, relieves the pressure of his cock against Phil’s, forces Phil’s mouth away from his clavicle.

Their love making is nothing like Dan had imagined it would be. It’s not rushed, or needy. It’s slow and passionate, and he just wants it to keep going. He never wants it to end.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asks, eyes sliding open now that he isn’t able to get his mouth all over Dan. Dan shakes his head, reaches for the last of Phil’s buttons, and undoes them with shaky hands.

“I want to touch you,” Dan explains, pushing himself back so he’s sat on his calves and he can push Phil’s shirt open. The worn fabric feels good against Dan’s hand, but nothing is like the way it parts and reveals every last inch of Phil’s pale skin, the slight pudge of his stomach, his love handles that Dan had been playing with earlier. He has a freckle next to his belly button, and there’s a smattering of hair on his chest, something that Dan has never experienced before. There is no swell of breasts like Dan is used to, but Dan doesn’t care.

This man is more beautiful than anyone Dan has ever seen before.

He lets his hands sweep over Phil’s chest, over pert, peaked nipples, cold from the sudden burst of air, and watches the way Phil’s entire body shivers at the touch. He twines his fingers in coarse chest hair, mesmerized, and trails his hands down to the happy trail that extends from Phil’s belly button and disappears into the v of his hips.

Dan knows what is at the end of that trail, and he wants nothing more than to touch it.

“I want to touch all of you,” Dan continues, surprised at the surety in his voice as he rips his gaze from Phil's torso and up to his eyes. He tries for flirty, is certain he misses the mark, but it doesn’t matter. His ex-girlfriend used to tell him he was so hot in bed because he said what he wanted and meant it, and he took without reserve. Dan didn’t have to be good at dirty talk to be good in bed.

Phil groans. He tosses an arm over his eyes, revealing something else Dan isn’t used to; armpit hair. Surprisingly, it doesn’t turn him off, and he stares and rakes his gaze over Phil’s long arms the same way he’s taken in every other inch of Phil.

“Phil, you’re gorgeous,” Dan continues, because he can, and because he means it, and because he wants Phil to know. “I want to get my mouth all over you, mark you up. Make you _mine_ ,” he adds, because he’s never going to not be possessive, and Phil might as well hear it from him now.

Phil doesn’t complain. He lets out another soft little whimper, his hips canting upwards, and Dan takes this as permission. He shuffles down Phil’s body, bends at the waist, allows his mouth to catch at Phil's collarbones the same way Phil’s mouth had caught at his own. Phil’s aren’t as deep, as wide, or prominent, but they’re _there_ , and they’re warm to Dan’s touch, receptive. Dan licks over the bone, bites a little, and moves on. He lets his lips trail past Phil’s nipples, circling one with the tip of his tongue and watching it grow sharp and hard, ready for so much more. Dan doesn’t give it to him.

Instead, he moves his mouth further, laying kisses and soft little nips against Phil’s body until he reaches the parts he loves the most - the soft pudge at Phil’s ribcage, soft skin ready to be marked. Dan sucks, then. He takes Phil’s skin into his mouth and he makes love to it with his tongue and his teeth, feeling it bruise under his mouth and loving the way Phil arches under him. Phil doesn’t moan much. He lets out these soft little whimpers instead, interspersed with groans as Dan moves, letting go of one spot and moving down to mark another.

Meanwhile, Dan’s hands brace against Phil’s hips, move to press against the bulge in his trousers, work at the zip and the button because he can and he wants and he needs the damn things off eventually anyway. Phil’s hips jerk into his touch, and the warm press of him turns Dan on more than he could have imagined.

He’s never touched another man’s dick, but he knows that now that he has, he’ll never want to stop again. Phil just feels so _full_ underneath him, and boobs are amazing, but there’s nothing like being able to _feel_ how much you turn someone on. The wetness of a woman just doesn’t compare, and Dan isn’t sure how he never realized before.

“Dan,” Phil gasps, reaching down to press warm palms to Dan’s cheeks, dragging him away from his task and back up for a wet kiss. Phil’s mouth is wide open, and he’s panting against Dan, but it’s good. It’s good because Dan can feel Phil’s desperation in the way he draws Dan between his legs and he shoves his leg between Dan’s as he ruts up into him. He can feel it in the way that Phil grasps at his back, at his arms, and his ribcage, holding on as tight as he can, hands moving, moving, moving. Endless. Phil can’t seem to stop, but Dan doesn’t mind.

 _He’s_ done this. He’s driven Phil mad.

“Dan,” Phil gasps against Dan’s lips. “No more teasing, come on.”

This time, Dan laughs. He hadn’t meant to tease, he just - he wanted to touch all of Phil.

“I told you,” Dan whispers against Phil’s lips, leaning in to peck him over and over and over again. “I want _everything_.”

Dan feels Phil shudder at the words, and manages to disentangle himself from Phil’s limbs. He wasn’t done exploring and marking, but he supposes he can push further ahead. Besides, this won’t be the last time, right?

Suddenly, Dan pauses halfway down Phil’s body, and he looks up with wide, scared eyes. Sure, Phil had consented to _this_ , but what if - what if -

“This won’t be - the only time, will it?”

Phil eyes shoot open at the question. He’d been panting, clearly delirious, tense and waiting for more of Dan’s touch, but now he stares down at Dan with a different kind of tension, something more knowing, and warm. He cocks a smile, reaches up to brace his hands on Dan’s hips. Dan’s hips twitch, wanting more.

“No,” Phil replies. “Pinky promise. Now that I have you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go.” His voice goes husky, and Dan feels his breath leave his lungs. He feels his body release a tension he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and he thumbs over the marks he’s left on Phil’s body, a trail of biting kisses on the right side of his ribcage.

It’s beautiful, and Dan is tired of waiting.

Phil’s jeans are undone. Dan climbs off of him and starts to yank them off of Phil’s hips. Phil gets the memo and starts to help, wiggling out of the tight fabric and yanking his boxers down with them. Dan’s eyes go straight to his cock as it bounces forward, no longer restricted, nestled in a mass of ginger curls.

Dan’s mouth almost waters.

It’s thick, bigger than even their friends had guessed at. How often had the internet joked with Dan about Phil having a monster cock, and Dan had joined in the fun, all but confirming this as fact? Phil doesn’t have a _monster_ cock, but it’s far from a let down; it’s a little bigger than average, thick rather than long, and throbbing as it bobs. The tip is pink, the same color of Phil’s lips. He’s uncut, just like Dan, and oh so fucking beautiful.

“Have you ever…?” Phil asks, breaking Dan out of his staring long enough to dart his eyes back up to Phil’s face. Phil looks apprehensive all of a sudden, unsure, and Dan whimpers a sigh of loss when Phil pulls his legs up, as if he’s trying to hide something, to cover up. Dan reaches for Phil’s legs, pulls them back, and is incredibly grateful that he finds no resistance.

He shakes his head.

“No, I haven’t.”

“You don’t have to, we can - I can -”

“I want to,” Dan says, cutting Phil off before he can get another word in edgewise. Phil shuts up, staring down at Dan with wide, concerned eyes, but Dan doesn’t care. His mouth is practically salivating for Phil’s cock. He wants it, and he’s not willing to wait. “God, do I want to,” Dan adds, reaching out to touch. His fingers wrap around Phil’s cock, a familiar feeling only somewhat different to his own

Phil’s cock is like warm silk, pusling in his hand. The skin here is so fucking soft. Dan pumps a few times, pushes Phil’s foreskin up and over the head, and pulls back down. Phil’s eyes close, and he lets out another groan, straight from the back of his throat. His hips pump into Dan’s hand. Dan is mesmerized. He’s had this done to him, and he’s done it to himself, but he’s never done this to another person, and the control of it all… the feel…

He used to eat his ex-girlfriend out. He knows there is almost nothing the same between a dick and a vagina, but she’d always said he was good at eating her out - the sounds she’d made were testament to that. Surely, he’d be good at giving head, too.

Dan shuffles further down Phil’s body, fully intent on getting Phil’s dick on his mouth, and finds that his concentration has settled solely on the way Phil’s thighs quiver and his dick twitches in Dan’s hand. He almost forgets that Phil exists at all other than this part of him until Dan quite literally gets his mouth around his dick and hears Phil let out the sharpest keening noise Dan has ever heard.

He doesn’t pull back. Phil tastes like musk and he smells like heaven and his dick throbs under Dan’s tongue. It stretches at his mouth and he’s only got the tip in, but he doesn’t stop there. Now that he’s got a taste, he wants more, and whatever he lacks in skill he knows he can make up for in enthusiasm. Phil doesn’t seem to mind regardless, if the muffled sounds he’s making are anything to go by, let alone the way his hips twitch and he seems to be forcing them to stay seated on the bed.

Dan grins, because blowjobs are always good, but a _good_ blowjob. Now that is something else, and Dan totally plans to give Phil the best blowjob of his life. Or, well, one of the best, because lord knows Dan’s going to need some practice. Practice he’s more than willing to do with Phil.

“Shit, Dan,” Phil groans. The words spur Dan on, because he’s only _just_ started, but already he’s managed to make Phil curse.

Dan starts to bob his head, one hand still on the base of Phil’s dick, jerking it with every movement. He lets his tongue rub at the bottom of Phil’s dick, sticks it out as far as he can until he’s licking his own fingers with every swipe, and Phil seems to enjoy it. Dan gets his own mouth wet, doesn’t swallow back the spit, lets it drip through the creases of his lips, and Phil lets out a sound Dan’s never heard him make before. It’s some kind of cross between a whimper and a groan, and it sounds so good coming from Phil’s husky throat.

“How - _how are you so good at this already?”_ Phil manages to grit out, hips twitching as he squirms on the bed. Dan’s never heard him so far _gone_ , and it makes his own dick jerk between his legs.

He finds himself working harder at Phil’s dick, wanting to prove that he can do this, that he can take Phil apart one long suck at a time. Dan purses his lips and _sucks_.

“Fuck, _Dan!”_

Long fingers tangle into Dan’s hair, but Phil doesn’t pull. He just kind of holds Dan, fingers scrambling, caressing Dan’s cheeks, and then moving back up to tangle in his hair. It’s like Phil doesn’t know what to do with himself. His hips must be aching with the effort Dan can see he’s making to hold still, and Dan doesn’t blame him.

He makes the blow job as wet as he knows how, sure that Phil will enjoy it just as much as Dan did when his ex-girlfriend used every last inch of her mouth. Then he takes more, and more, tries to find his gag reflex, and flinches back when he hits it. He gags around Phil’s cock, feels the way Phil convulses and gasps, and then suddenly, Phil’s hands are tugging at Dan’s hair, forcing him to pull back, to come up and off of Phil’s dick, so he’s hovering just inches above it.

Dan does so willingly, confused eyes searching Phil’s face only to find him staring, completely flushed and absolutely trembling, with a look of naked need in his gaze.

“I’m - I’m close,” Phil manages to gasp. “You can - finish with your - your hand,” he adds. Dan doesn’t understand. Did Phil not like his mouth? If he’s close already, doesn’t that mean it was good?

Phil seems to read the confusion in Dan’s gaze, because he says, “Some people don’t like the taste,” and suddenly Dan understands. Phil hadn’t wanted to push Dan, or make him take what was coming. Dan knows, suddenly, that if Dan had gone on any longer, Phil wasn’t going to be able to let Dan come off until he’d finished working himself through his orgasm.

In a way, Dan is grateful, but not because he isn’t totally willing to suck down every last inch of Phil’s cum, but because suddenly, he is once again _very_ aware of his own throbbing erection and what he actually, truly wants.

He wants Phil to fuck him.

Scrambling away from Phil’s body, Dan doesn’t even think to explain as he drags his own jeans off of his legs, boxers going with them. Phil lets out a soft whimpery sound of confusion, and Dan turns back around with wide brown eyes.

“Sorry, shit,” he explains. “I didn’t - I was hoping,” Dan stutters out, breathless, as he flings the rest of his clothes off - jeans, boxers, weird arm things, _gone_. Instantly, he’s back hovering over Phil’s body, his hand reaching to touch Phil’s cock, to stroke it gently, but not too much. He doesn’t want Phil to come yet. Phil _can’t_.

Please, no. He can’t.

“I want you to fuck me,” Dan finally explains after a moment, and loves the way Phil’s hips buck at the words and he lets out an actual moan. His eyes squeeze shut, and his chest seems to glow hotter, redder. The reaction spurs Dan on, and he leans in to kiss at Phil’s neck, open mouthed and messy. “I’ve been dreaming about it for months, Phil. What it would feel like to have you inside me,” he says.

Phil’s hands come up to squeeze at Dan’s hips, fingers tight and bruising. It’s like he doesn’t know what to do with himself all over again, and it makes Dan’s body ache.

Their entire naked bodies are touching now. Dan’s cock keeps pressing insistently into Phil’s hip, and Dan can feel Phil rolling his hips up and into Dan’s unclothed dick. Its erotic, probably the most erotic thing that’s happened tonight, in a weird way. Dan’s had his mouth all over Phil, sure, but now he’s got his entire body pressed up to Phil’s without any clothes on, and it feels liberating. It feels like coming home.

Dan wants to choke at the thought of it.

He’s so far gone it’s not even funny. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop loving Phil Lester.

“We can’t,” Phil finally gasps out, hip still rocking, fingers still gripping, panting as he moves. He’s started up a proper rythym now, their cocks bumping alongside each other as they rock. Dan can’t keep himself from answering the motion, and for a moment, he doesn’t quite catch the meaning of Phil’s words.

But then he does.

Dan pulls away from Phil’s neck, a little hurt, a little confused, and finds that Phil’s eyes are squeezed shut and he’s biting at his lip, and he’s panting harshly through his nose. Dan stares at him, at the little creases by his mouth. He stares at the furrow of Phil’s brow, and asks, “Why?”

Phil groans. He’d clearly been hoping Dan wouldn’t ask that.

“Do you not want to, or...?” Dan asks, unsure. He finds himself biting at his own bottom lip, as he takes in how hard Phil is working to keep himself under control. Dan feels like the only one out of control tonight, but at the same time, he feels uniquely in control. He feels liberated, like he’s taking everything he wants and getting it - except this.

Phil’s eyes somehow manage to scrunch up tighter.

“No, it’s not - not that. I want to. God, I want to,” he gasps, fingers running up and down Dan’s ribcage now. He feels so good touching Dan like that. Dan never wants him to stop.

It helps that he knows, now, that Phil does want him.

“Then why?” Dan whispers against Phil’s neck, once again pressing soft kisses to the skin there, teasing with tongue and lips. He wants Phil to let him have this, but he’s not going to push him. If all they get is frottage and blowjobs tonight, then so be it. Dan will take anything he can get.

But he _really_ wants Phil to fuck him.

“Dan,” Phil gasps. “We can’t, you’re - you’ve never done this before,” he manages, which. Well. True. But Dan doesn’t care.

He’s fingered himself before. He’s stretched, and prepped, and found his prostate. He knows that he likes how it feels, knows he’d been fantasizing about this since before he had a girlfriend, had even tried to encourage her to do it to him, but she’d never said yes. Dan knows that he wants this more than anything, and he needs Phil to know too.

“No, not with a man,” he admits, “Not with a woman, either. But I _have_ fingered myself, Phil, and it feels so fucking good. I want to know what it’ll feel like if it’s you inside of me, instead of my fingers. I want to know what it’ll feel like to be stuffed full of _you_ , to have you fill me up. I want to be connected to you, Phil, please. Let me have this,” Dan says, and he can feel his own voice going desperate with want.

Phil’s squirming underneath him. His body feels so goddamn warm against Dan’s. Dan can feel the drizzle of wetness against his belly that isn’t his quickly drying spit, and he knows what it is; Phil’s cock is jerking and smearing pre-cum against Dan’s belly now. It is the most erotic sensation in the world.

“Fuck,” Phil curses, and flails a hand out and away from Dan’s body, like he’s trying to pull himself together and force himself to think straight. Dan wishes he could take that all away, make Phil so goddamn wanton for it that he _doesn’t_ think, just _takes_ , but he supposes for a first time he’s glad that Phil is holding on so well to his self control.

One day, Dan wants Phil to fuck him without abandon, but maybe their first time isn’t the best place for that. The fact that Phil is hesitating so much, desperate for more but also desperate to take care of Dan, makes Dan feel warm inside.

Even still, Dan doesn’t stop kissing Phil’s neck. He lets the rhythm of their hips carry him on, continues to let their bodies grind together, and loves the fact that he can feel Phil’s thighs twitch. His legs are spread so far open for Dan, it’s invigorating. Dan almost wants to pull back and have a look at Phil all spread out for him, but he’s enjoying the taste of salty skin too much, enjoying the way his movements make Phil pant and groan and arch up into Dan until Dan can feel the scratch of hair against his own bare chest.

Nothing about this is familiar. It’s so new that Dan is gagging for it. He finds himself moaning against Phil’s throat just from this alone, and lets his fingernails dig into Phil’s ribs.

“Okay!” Phil gasps, “Okay, okay, okay, if you’re sure, Dan, _please_ ,” he whimpers. Dan pulls away, surprised but fucking _excited_ , because Phil’s going to let him have this. Phil is _actually_ going to fuck him, and Dan has never been more excited in his life.

“I have condoms - there’s condoms in my - my wallet, I - please tell me you have lube. I don’t want to hurt you,” Phil manages around huge lungfuls of air, still canting hips hips against Dan because he can’t seem to stop.

Dan surges in for a kiss full of gratitude, his hands moving to cup Phil’s cheeks and draw him in close. He finds himself moaning against Phil’s lips as Phil’s thighs quake underneath him, and his mouth surges up to meet Dan’s just as eagerly.

“You won’t hurt me, I promise. Please, Phil, please, just give me this. I want you inside of me,” Dan gasps, pulling back from Phil’s lips to stare earnestly at him. He’s never wanted anything more than he wants this. “I’ve got lube,” he adds, because Phil’s eyes are pinched shut, and he looks a little like he’s holding himself back all over again.

Rather than answering, Phil just kind of nods. Dan can see that he’s moved his hands to the duvet, and his fingers are curled so tightly into the fabric Dan fears it might rip. He doesn’t care.

Putting the worry out of his mind, Dan climbs off of Phil, and jumps from the bed. His weeping cock protests with a violent twitch, but Dan doesn’t care. He’s about to get something so much better than grinding against Phil. .

Phil doesn’t even bother to open his eyes at the loss of Dan. He looks too busy holding himself back from reaching down and taking his cock into his hands.

Dan can’t blame him. There’s as part of him yearning to go right back over to Phil and climb on top of him to finish what they were doing - but he’s got better things waiting for his future. Dan goes over to his dresser first, rummaging around his top drawer for the hidden bottle of lube he keeps under his underwear and sometimes behind his socks. He fumbles once he’s got his fingers properly around it, far too eager and turned on to not have shaking hands, and then chucks the bottle over at Phil.

With his dresser closed, Dan starts looking around his floor for Phil’s discarded jeans, and finds them nearly inside out at the foot of his bed. He’s trembling all over, desperate to get back to Phil, eyes darting back and forth from his bedroom to Phil’s body, all spread out for him.

Phil’s legs are so wiry, his thighs so inviting.

Dan snaps his attention back to Phil’s jeans, and kneels to search for his wallet.

One day, he wants to take Phil raw, but not today.

His fingers fumble for Phil’s wallet, draws the marvel themed fabric from his pocket, and flips it open in search for a condom. What he finds is not one, not two, but _three_ condoms, all relatively new looking, and Dan suddenly finds himself wondering how many Phil has used in his lifetime, how often he has to replace them, and if he does so to prevent wear and tear, or because he uses them just that often.

Dan shoves the thought out of his head, not willing to throw himself into a jealous rage when he’s so close to getting what he wants, and instead pulls out a single condom for now because he doesn’t think he’s going to have a round two in him. Not tonight.

“Here,” Dan mumbles. “Prep yourself,” he adds, as he climbs back up as well, and watches Phil scramble with the packaging on the condom. His arms are shaking, something that Dan finds arousing rather than off putting, and he grabs the lube, desperate to get on with this. At the same time, Dan wants nothing more than to take his time, to hold onto this moment for as long as he can.

Dan slicks up three off his fingers, making sure they’re all as slick as he can get them. He doesn’t want this part to take any longer than it has to - honestly, he’d rather have Phil being the one to do this for him, taking him apart bit by bit, but not tonight. Tonight, he just wants Phil’s cock.

They can try out other things another time. Dan knows that neither he nor Phil can take much more. They’ve both been so close for so long tonight and they both want, _need_ to finally be together.

Phil finally gets the condom free, and reaches to stretch it down over his dick. Dan can’t seem to help from watching the way the latex stretches, filling up with Phil the way Dan wants to be filled up. The slow glide, the way the condom catches on Phil’s cock, makes Dan shudder with desperate desire.

He hands the tube of lube over the moment Phil looks up from his task, catches his eyes, and hopes that Phil can see the desire written clear across Dan’s face.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Dan reassures, him, offering Phil a smile, and nodding at the tube of lube. Phil stares at him for a moment, probably to make sure, before fumbling with the lube and popping the cap to get the moisture onto his hand.

As Phil reaches for his cock to slick it up, Dan climbs over top of him, sitting on his thighs, and watches, entranced, as Phil’s hand slid over his dick to begin slicking it up. At the same time, Dan bends forward and reaches behind himself to prod at his entrance. The puckered skin opens up to him easily as he slides in one finger, pumping it quickly.

Dan doesn’t much care for the pleasurable feeling right then, doesn’t care about the tease. He just preps himself as quickly as he can, desperate to have his body engulfing Phil already the way Phil’s hand currently is.

“Close,” Phil gasps, dropping his hand from his dick and grasping tightly at sheets as his hips jerk. The movement causes Dan’s finger to slip in further, and he groans, pressing in a second alongside the first as he pulls back out, and presses back down. Phil’s biting his bottom lip, and his cock is glistening, bobbing, waiting for Dan.

Dan wants it more than anything else in the world.

“Don’t come yet, please,” Dan begs, because they haven’t gotten to the best part yet. Phil nods his head distractedly and reaches for Dan’s hips, closing tight around them. Dan can feel Phil attempting to rub soothing circles into the skin there, but he’s seem to be far too coiled with tension as he sits on the verge of orgasm.

Dan stares down at Phil and wonders if he’s okay.

“Dan,” Phil asks, eyes wide as he stares up at Dan, “Are you sure about this?”

Dan doesn’t even hesitate before he nods.

One of Phil’s hands dips inwards, lightly grazing against Dan’s cock and balls. The sensation spurs him on and he redoubles his efforts to stretch, groaning and letting his eyes drift shut. For a moment, he loses all ability to speak, so instead, he rides his fingers like he does when he’s at home alone.

Finally, when he regains his composure, Dan murmurs, “More sure than I’ve ever been. I want you.” Dan takes that moment to press in a third finger.

Three fingers is always a stretch. When he’s alone, he often doesn’t bother. It sort of hurts, sending a _zing_ of pleasure up Dan’s spine and burning at his body. He looks down at Phil’s cock, which is throbbing inside the condom. He knows that Phil is larger than three fingers, and he knows that if he can just get past this little bit of uncomfortableness, he can have so much more pleasure than he’s ever known. To distract himself, Dan leans over Phil’s body and kisses him.

Phil’s hands move from Dan’s hips down to his thighs, petting over the quivering muscles there. Dan’s sure the pleasure would be too much for him if he weren’t already distracted by the burn of three fingers, but as it is, the pleasure is pretty good. He hadn’t realized how much he liked being touched there before Phil; his ex-girlfriend had so rarely focused on Dan’s body. It had always been him focusing on her.

Maybe Phil could change that for him.

As their kisses grow more and more sloppy, and Phil’s hands roam further up and down Dan’s thighs, teasing at the inside crease when they come up but avoiding touching Dan’s cock or balls entirely, Dan finds himself becoming more and more relaxed. The feel of Phil’s mouth against his is comforting, this hands a warm, welcome touch, and these things combined make the sensation of three fingers far more comfortable and pleasurable than it’s ever been before.

Finally, Dan pulls his fingers free, and he stares down at Phil with wide, desperate eyes. His lips are wet, he can feel it, and Phil’s mouth is a dark, plump red. His hair is mucked up and sexy as fuck. To be honest, Phil looked like _Dan_ had fucked _him_.

Dan grins down at him.

“Fuck me, Philip,” he teases. Phil’s hands finally move from Dan’s thighs and back up to much safer territory at his hips, but Dan still shudders anyway. His cock twitches with the desire for Phil to touch him there, but mentally, Dan knows that that would not be a good idea right now.

One day, he _will_ have Phil’s hands all over his dick, but tonight he wants _so much more_.

“Gladly, Daniel,” Phil whispers back, situating Dan on top of him exactly the way that he wants him. Phil’s thighs are spread, and Dan’s legs are sprawled out on either side of him a little ungainly. Neither really notice, too busy staring at the way their bodies align as Phil moves Dan so that his cock is pressed between Dan’s thighs, disappearing behind the cleft of his ass.

Dan’s breathless himself at the sight of it, vision going a little hazy. He can feel himself begging to fall apart already, and they aren’t even fucking yet. Still. Just the sight of Phil like this, spread underneath him, is amazing. Dan’s heart is racing in his chest, a combination of exertion and excitement.

Phil stares between their bodies, no doubt taking in the sight of his own dick between Dan’s cheeks.

Desperate to get to the best part, Dan fucks his hips down onto Phil’s body, feels the wet slide of their skin, and whines as Phil’s cock fails to press into him, instead slipping away from him.

“Patience,” Phil laughs, fingers tightening on Dan’s hips, showing him the way to move, and dragging Dan back into the right spot for Phil’s dick to press into him. “Let me,” he adds, and lets go with one hand in order to reach behind Dan and take hold of his own dick - or at least, Dan assumes that’s what he’s doing, because now he can feel the blunt head of Phil’s cock pressing against his entrance, and the feeling sends as heady rush of pleasure through Dan’s veins.

That’s when Dan starts to feel himself being spread open by Phil’s dick, his body sliding down onto the thick length. He finds himself keening at the sensation, far more vivid and real than Dan ever could have imagined. There’s a slight burn where Phil stretches him, but they’re both so slick with lube that it’s almost nonexistent. Instead, there’s nothing but heat and a spark of pleasure slowly ricocheting throughout Dan’s entire body.

Phil doesn’t moan. While Dan pants and twists on Phil’s dick, allowing his body to move slowly as Phil guides his dick in, Phil doesn’t make a noise. Instead, he bites his lips and holds his tongue, seemingly concentrated on nothing more than breaching Dan as slowly and as carefully as he can imagine. Dan can’t vocalize how grateful he is, but he’s sure Phil gets it anyway.

The man’s restraint is beyond anything Dan could have imagined. Had it been him fucking someone like this, he wouldn’t have been able to control himself.

As it is, he almost forces himself down on Phil’s cock quicker. He holds himself back, whining at every inch that presses inside of him, the slow drag of Phil’s cock against his walls absolute _bliss_.

Finally, _finally_ , Phil bottoms out inside of Dan. Dan can tell because Phil releases his hand from around his cock, wiggles out from between their bodies, and presses up so entirely that Dan can feel his _balls_ slapping against his arse. The slick feeling of it is beyond heady, and Dan can do nothing but stare down at Phil slack jawed as Phil stares up at him in pure ecstasy.

He’s full. He’s fucking _full_ of _Phil_ and it’s the best feeling in the world. Dan’s eyes are half-lidded, and he licks his lips. He wants more, so much more, his cock throbbing for it, but he’s not ready to give this up yet. He doesn’t want to feel Phil slip back out just to slam back in just yet. He wants to hold onto this moment forever.

“Tight,” Phil groans, hands scrabbling for purchase on Dan’s hips. “Okay?” Phil asks, vocabulary reduced to single words.

Dan nods, says, “Fuck yes,” and then shifts his hips and fucking _keens_ as Phil’s cock presses into Dan’s prostate. His head falls back in euphoria. As much as he wants to go slowly, to savor every second of this, he can feel his instincts taking over.

He can’t stop then. His hips start to rock, and he starts to move without so much as a word to Phil. He pulls himself up, feels Phil pull him back down, and gets lost in the feeling of working his body onto Phil’s dick. This is something that Dan had never known, and he’s mad. He’s mad that he’s never had this before, but at the same time, glad that Phil is his first. Glad that Phil can have this, when Dan had given up so much to his last girlfriend.

He knows neither of them are virgins. He knows it’s not normal to expect your partner to be one. But he is happy to give Phil some kind of first, and he is glad that Phil is the one to touch him like this now.

“Dan,” Phil is gasping, the word broken as he says it again and again. His name tumbles out of Phil’s mouth with every thrust, and it’s intoxicating. Dan’s body arches and twitches as they move together, trying desperately to find a rhythm that works for both of them, but it’s hard. Dan can feel heat building in his stomach, can feel his balls drawing up tight to his taint. He can feel every muscle in his body tightening for more, as he moves faster and faster, chasing the sensation of orgasm.

Phil’s fingers dig into his hips, leaving bright red marks behind, and he tilts his hips upwards as he drags his legs forwards, feet flat on the bed. The movement sends Phil’s cock deeper into Dan’s body, reaching further as he rocks harder, better able to fuck up into Dan at this angle. Every goddamn thrust jolts through Dan and presses into his prostate, sending sparks up and down Dan’s spine.

Dan can’t take much more. His body is toiled so fucking tight, but he just can’t _cum_. Phil’s dick isn’t enough, and the thought makes Dan want to weep. Phil’s too distracted by his own pleasure to reach up and help him, so Dan reaches down instead and takes his dick in hand. He doesn’t stop bouncing on Phil’s cock as he begins to stroke, rubbing the pad of his thumb over his weeping slit and whining at the way it makes his body twitch.

Phil moans too, jerking his hips harder into Dan.

Suddenly, Phil’s mouth goes slack. Dan see’s it happen through half-lidded eyes, feels it as Phil loses absolute control over his own body, and fucks hard and sloppy. For a moment, Dan doesn’t know what’s happening, far too focused on his own pleasure to really care, but then Phil presses balls deep and _stills_ , his dick twitching against Dan’s prostate, and then Dan realizes that Phil just _came_.

Inside of him.

Well, inside of a condom, but _still_. The fact remained that Dan had done that. He’d fucked Phil to orgasm.

Dan’s own orgasm crashes over him. It seems to hit out of nowhere despite the fact that Dan had sort of been able to feel it coming. It’s so overwhelming, though, that it knocks a gasp from Dan’s lungs as he comes all over his own chest and Phil’s belly.

He doesn’t remember falling forward, but he must have, because the next thing Dan knows, he’s heaving against Phil’s neck as Phil shifts and pulls his dick free. Dan whines at the loss of contact, but now that he’s come, he can admit that it does feel a little bit uncomfortable to have Phil still pressed inside of him like that.

Slowly, Dan rolls off of Phil so that’s not suffocating him, and plops down at his side. He rolls almost instantly so that’s he facing Phil, and watches as Phil does the same. He’s sweating, and his face makeup is smeared beyond belief, hardly even visible as an actual design anymore, but he still looks beautiful to Dan.

Dan reaches out to brush a finger over Phil’s cheek, and ends up cupping the soft skin in his palm in order to pull Phil forward and into a kiss. They’re both still panting, coming down from the exhilarating high and the amazing sex, so the kiss is a little sloppy, but Dan doesn’t mind. He lets it taper off until they’re just kind of pecking at each other over and over again, and then reaches long, lanky arms around Phil’s torso in order to drag him into his chest.

They’re covered in cum. Phil’s still got a condom wrapped around his softening cock. They both know they should do something about these two things, but for right now, they don’t. Dan doesn’t want to move, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to release Phil from his hold.

Dan’s hands feel ridiculously large against Phil’s back, especially now after they just had sex. Dan isn’t sure why, but he does like the way Phil tucks against him despite the fact that he’s taller, and he does like the way that Phil tangles their legs together, and he does like the fact that he can fit against Phil in every way and feel perfect.

That’s part of what Dan likes most about this. He and Phil, they just fit together.

Like puzzle pieces.

“You know I’m not letting you go now, right?” Dan teases, because he can. Because he’s giddy and high on the feeling of finally getting to be with Phil.

Phil laughs.

“You think I would either?”

“I guess not,” Dan says, and doesn’t even mind that they don’t have a label.

It’s not important, not in the grand scheme of things, because Dan has Phil and he loves him.

**

The next morning, Phil wakes Dan up at the ass crack of dawn (it’s really 10 in the morning, but it _feels_ closer to 5). Dan’s meant to be heading back to Rawtenstall with Phil, and their train is at 11:30. Dan hasn’t even packed yet.

Dan’s got his backpack in the middle of his bed and he’s shoving a wad of clothing inside when Phil wanders back into his room with his phone clutched to his head.

“I know, mum. We’ll be there soon, I promise,” Dan overhears Phil saying on the phone. “You know how my boyfriend is, always waiting until the very last moment to pack. I’ll make sure we’re there on time! Sort of.”

The words make Dan pause. He feels himself tensing, a surprised smile spreading across his lips.

Boyfriend.

Yeah, Dan could definitely get used to that.


End file.
